Black

Black. All I seem to be wearing lately is black, people are going to think I am going through a goth phase or something! Well no, its just that I have some extra baby fat to lose! Ugh!

I hate dieting! I am doing weight watchers and it is a great 'diet' for me to follow. I make healthy choices, but I can still have the sweet treat that I always seem to be craving. I wasn't very good during my pregnancy controlling how often I had that sweet treat.. and now here I am at 3 months postpartum with 20lbs to lose. So I wear black. And when I buy something new, its probably black. Well I guess I did buy to blue shirts the other day, but they hide my tummy.

I have been pretty good about exercising. I also spend about 30mins to an hour every day dancing like a goof with Alec. And that gets my heart rate up! Its easy to exercise when you are having fun and goofing off with one of the cutest little boys in the world! Alec's favorite thing to watch and dance to? The Wiggles!! Luckily for me they aren't too annoying, because Alec LOVES them.

I really wish that I could just do a crash diet and starve myself for a little while just to get the weight off. I am good at managing a weight, I just have to get there first. But that is completely out of the question. I am breastfeeding Damon and that would be really unhealthy for both of us. And I do not want to risk losing my milk supply.

So I am just putsing away losing about a pound a week. I guess thats not too bad.

Any one have any heathy snack suggestions for me?

Thankfulness and Sadness

My Thanksgiving post, just a little late. ; )

We had a really nice Thanksgiving this year we saw lots of family and thats always fun, especially when its family you don't see very often. And I got to show off my boys, what mother doesn't love doing that?

Thanksgiving tends to be a bit hard on me, I feel pulled two different ways emotionally. I know I should be thankful and happy for many things, including a wonderful husband who loves me dearly and my two happy and healthy little boys. But I also have feelings of mourning and sadness. And part of me wants to just mope around and be sad on Thanksgiving and the days following.

Four years ago the day after Thanksgiving I found out that my baby in utero had lost his heart beat and I went to the hospital to start the induction. It is something that I had been trying to prepare myself for, but none the less it was still a horrible and extremely hard thing to go through. But I was able to have a normally and easy delivery but emotionally very hard and I got to see my son hold him, cuddle him and kiss him. But all the while knowing that I would never be able to again. If he was here living with us today he would be 4 years old. For some reason it feels longer than 4 years.

So on Thanksgiving I am mourning the loss of my first born child, and the live I never got to have with him. But it makes me even more thankful for the two beautiful healthy boys I have here with me today.

Since Damon was born we have not had to deal with much jealousy from Alec. Just a little bit here and there. But today Alec is sick and has a cold, he just wants to be cuddled. But I will have to sit down and breastfeed Damon and Alec will come over and want to be held/cuddled. It makes me feel horrible. Especially since he is sick. And when I can't pick him up right away he is just heart broken and pulls on my shirt. It just breaks my heart. Today has been a hard day. It has been the first time I haven't been able to satisfy both boys easily.

I hope Alec is feeling better soon. This is only the second or third time he has been sick so I don't really know what to do for him other than love him and make him as comfortable as possible. He has been so healthy and never has had to see the Doctor for anything other than his shots and well baby visits. Well I guess for the screw incident too, but that isn't a sickness.

The husband has the next 3 days off from work so that will make things much easier!

Long time no post!

Well I am offically a crappy blogger! Last time I wrote I had just gotten results from my amnio, and my oldest child has swallow a screw.

Well now I am a mother of two very healthy boys. Damon arrived September 1st and 12:32pm. His heart rate was a little scary during the entire delivery taking lots of dips. I was so sure they were going to tell me we needed to do an emergency c-section. But I dilated fast and in the end he came out naturally and very healthy!

The first time Alec saw Damon I don't think he knew what to think exactly. And the first time he heard Damon cry he cried too! But he has been very good with the baby and not shown much jealousy at all.

Now Damon is getting close to three months and Alec is 22 months. I sure am busy, but having two children is not as hard as I thought it was going to be. I spent way to much time worrying about it while I was pregnant!

I promise to start blogging more!

"You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. If you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes."
Author: Walter Schirra, Sr.

Well a few weeks ago we got the results back from my amnio, and the baby is healthy! What wonderful news that was. We also got some other delightful news, we are having another boy!! We are SO excited that Alec will have a little brother. I can't wait to see them grow together, they will only be about 19 months apart in age! There are some very busy times coming in my future, but I can't wait!

This pregnancy is going great! I can't believe that I am almost half way through it! I my belly is growing much fast this pregnancy, and I have been feeling movement daily since about 15 weeks. Its unbelievable how fast time is going by! I wish I had a pause button for life.

Some other news in the Neva house hold... Alec swallowed a screw this past week! It scared me half to death. He found it somewhere in his bedroom, I have absolutely no idea where it came from! I saw him put it in his mouth, but before I could get it out he had swallowed it. We took him to the ER and sat there from 10:30-2:00, a very long time. They took an x-ray and we got to see it sitting in his tummy,(kinda cool to see). They aren't going to do anything about it now, we just have to wait for it to pass through his system. Which means we get to go through all his stinky diapers looking for it. (yay) If we do not find it in the next three weeks, we have to take him to his doctor for another x-ray, and who knows what else they might want to do. It has been about 4 days since it happened, and we have still not found the screw.

Staying in ND!

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu

Last week Brad and I got wonderful news. We will not be moving far! It means so much to us that we will be staying near to our family. Knowing that we will be raising our children close to their grandparents, aunts and uncles means so much to us. We are ecstatic!!!

A Mother's Joy.

"A mother's joy begins when new life is stirring inside...when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone."
Author: Unknown

Just a few days before the new year, much to our surprise, I found out that we are pregnant again. Just this last Thursday I say my Doctor and she gave me a due date of September 4th. That is the birthday of my 'Papa' my grandfather. He was one of the most important men in my life and not a day goes by were I don't think of him. What a blessing to be blessed with a new life due on the day he was born. I could not have a more special due date.


Also on Thursday my son Alec turned one year old. I cannot believe how fast the time went by, he is such a wonderful little boy. It was an amazing year seeing him grow, develop and change. I can't wait to see the person he becomes in the years to come.